Gambling, Girls and Geese
The Gander Brothers - Bruce 'The Beak' and Walter 'The Waddler'
If you see these geese, avoid them at all cost or risk being run aground in a two-bit town with terrible rum. They're the Gander Brothers and they'll break your arm as soon as look at you.
My name is Cap'n Dave (not my real name, I went AWOL from my frigate back in 1998 and I've been on the lam ever since, but that is a whole other story for another day). Truth be told I was never a captain in my naval days, a mere rating was all I could muster. It was pure prejudice. Bears just can't get a commissioned rank in the armed forces. It's outrageous in this day and age.
But that's by the by.
I slipped the naval moorings one night, and I've been captain of my own destiny ever since. Unfortunately, I got into a spot of bother last year. I blame the cheap rum. And the women. I'm a bear, we're easily led.
So, drunk as I was, chasing a fine piece of furry tail around the docks at Southampton, I found myself in the kind of joint no sane bear would ever go. Cheap rum, makes a bear crazy. Hot furry ladies do the same when a bear's been at sea for long enough.
It was a kinda hole in the wall joint. The gal I was with knew some kinda special password, and we were drinking even cheaper rum - the kind that puts hairs on your chest- smoking the worst kind of cigars, and that's when I found the poker tables.
Never bet all your chips on a boat when you're playing poker with dirty stinking geese and the gal who picked you up the dodgiest boozer in town happens to be working for those good-for-nothing geese. I lost the lot, and more besides and woke up the next morning...well like a bear with a sore head.
I lost ownership of my boat and owed those geese a lot of bread. They wanted to have me stuffed and mounted, angry geese are alarmingly aggressive. Fortunately, I am a bear of considerable charm, and I managed to talk them out doing me any physical damage by spinning them some yarns. It turns out geese go wild for a good story.
Only I'm a bear. There are only so many stories I can tell and somehow the debt is bigger now than when I started. Which is why I started this place. If we can get enough stories, surely the Gander Brothers will leave me in peace, to drink rum and go sailing.
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